Pranks
by Lamb12
Summary: The Cullen family like Stephanie Meyer never described. After decades of just sitting around and not sleeping, they had to be doing something, right? Please R&R :-
1. Pranks

**Disclaimer: **

_**Edward:**_ Isn't this the same story that that one girl wrote a while ago? That's copy write!

_**Bella:**_ Yes, this is the same story. But Lamb12 got permission from Josie1901. Chill, Edward.

_**Edward:**_ Oh, okay. But, what about Stephanie Meyer; doesn't she own the characters in this story . . . even us?

_**Bella:**_ Yes, darling, that's why this is here; to tell everyone that Stephanie Meyer owns the characters including us. Got it?

_**Edward:**_ I guess.

**Author's Note:** This is NOT copy write! I repeat; THIS IS NOT COPY WRITE!! My friend, josie1901, has decided to discontinue this story and given me permission to continue for her. Enjoy! _P.S._ This is the same first chapter.

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I woke up not sure exactly where I was. I opened my eyes. I was on a humongous bed and then I remembered I was at Edward for another sleep over with "Alice"

All of a sudden Edward walked into the room with amusement and nervousness in his eyes. "Hey" I said with a yawn "how was your night?"

He smiled at me and replied with a look in his eyes I didn't quite understand. "It was good I spent most the night watching you sleep." I turned red. God why did I always have to blush? I had quite a dream about Edward and me. It was _AMAZING_! I hope I didn't say anything to give away my dream. That would be embarrassing.

I remember from my dream for some reason I kept saying, "You're so sexy." It was a good but weird dream. Edward broke me out of my trance by saying, "You're blushing; why?"

I twisted my hands and stared at them. "I didn't happen to say anything in my sleep, did I?" Edward smiled at me. "No more than usual." I knew I wasn't going to get a straight answer out of him so I sighed and wrapped my arms around his waist.

He, for some reason, coughed. I've never seen him cough before. Then, all of a sudden, I felt totally out of control and I leaned forward and tried to kiss him. He did something surprising he lifted me into the air and laid me onto the bed. Oh my God! He kissed me _so_ good. His tongue traced the line of my mouth. Then his hand went to the fold of my t-shirt. Did he reconsider his boundaries? Then his hand was up my shirt. My heart was pounding then he took a breath and said the most surprising thing. His voice was unsteady and velvety. "You're so sexy!" My lips froze and my heart stopped beating. Edward started to shake of silent laughter.

Then I heard Emmett's booming laughter and Jasper snicker. They must have heard. I shoved away from Edward as he was trying to compose his face. "What was that?!" I growled. He looked at me with innocent eyes, and then he took in my face, which looked red and mad. He said, "Alright, so you were very descriptive when you were dreaming last night so I thought it would be kind of funny to sort of reenact it. I had Jasper hit you with a wave of lust." He grinned at me, "then I figured if I said what you kept saying last night; that it would freak you out."

I fumed. He heard my dream and he told Jasper how embarrassing! "Why the hell did you do that!?" He looked at me sheepishly "Well…," he began, "you see Emmett and Jasper were listening to you last night and I was so wrapped up listening to you I didn't notice. They told me that they would make fun of you and if I didn't pull this prank, which was quite enjoyable." He looked at me nervously and grinned.

I sighed. God I could never be mad at him. But I was going to have to get back at him. So I figured I'd talk to Alice when Edward couldn't hear me. So I looked at him and said, "Emmett, Jasper, get out of here now." They snickered but they left. I looked at Edward. A plan popped into my brain and I knew Alice would see my plan in the future. So I said, "You stay here. I'll be right back." He looked at me questionably but he didn't move. So I got up from the bed and went to see Alice.

I walked down the stairs and I saw Alice grinning. So she said, "Let's go!" I laughed and said, "Edward, I'll be back," knowing he could hear me. I only had to say it, not shout it.

We both jumped into the canary yellow Porsche. We drove to mall and walked straight into Victoria's Secret. I looked around. Alice went and picked up some thongs then said to me embarrassingly loud, "How could these be comfortable?" I blushed and shrugged. She picked out a red hot lacy one, a zebra print one and a blue one that was way racier than any of the other ones. Edward loves the color blue on me. I smiled at her. Then we found matching bras and then we checked out. We both were laughing hysterically by the time we were out the mall doors.

One thing I love about Edward is he's very old fashioned but that also can be very annoying. So we headed back to the Cullen house. When we got there Alice was saying the constitution in five different languages in her head so Edward wouldn't know my plan. I quickly headed up stairs and noticed Edward was lying in the same exact place he'd been where I left him two hours ago. The look on his face made my heart stop. His eyes so beautiful, a grin slowly pulled across his gorgeous face. Focus! Focus Bella! I chanted to my self.

I shook my head and said in the most even voice I could manage considering I'd just been dazzled beyond belief, "Edward, I have to change but you can stay if you like." He knew I was teasing him. He's very moral for a vampire. He smiled at me and left the room. I sighed and took the tags off the thongs and bras. I put them in the duffel bag making sure they were on top. I've never wore a thong and they didn't look very comfortable but Edward didn't know that. So I changed into an outfit Alice picked out at the mall that I just realized she bought. How did she do that?

She was brilliant! This outfit would defiantly set Edward off. It was a very low cut cami and a very short mini skirt. The cami was white and the skirt a blue that Edward loved. I laid down on the bed waiting for Edward to come in and sure enough he walked in and as he was walking in I was moving my legs to sit a little more lady like in my very short skirt and as doing so letting Edward accidentally getting look at my underwear which were not at all attractive. He grinned but tilted his head so he was looking away till I got comfortable and covered. I blushed furiously. I needed to focus. So I said casually, "Edward, um . . . I was wondering; did you stay in this spot the whole time?" I figured I better at least start a conversation.

Before answering he looked at me questionably then sat across from me on the bed he said, "If I tell you will you answer a question for me?" Oh crap! He knew how the hell did he figure it out? "Sure," I replied nervously.

"OK," he said, "well yes I did here the whole time you were gone." Before he could ask me his question I asked another. "And what exactly were you thinking about?" He looked at my face for a minute. I looked down at the blanket trying to avoid being dazzled. I need to focus.

"I was thinking about you like usual" I just nodded. How could someone think about me for two hours? Before I could ask he quickly said, "My turn! Ok, so why is your skirt so short?"

This took me off guard that was the last question I was expecting. "Why, don't you like it?" I asked trying to not smile.

His eyes praised my body. "Yes." To my surprise his voice was very uneven, "but you know that undying self control you think I have, well that's slipping away," he admitted.

Wow my plan was going to work perfectly; I just needed to turn this conversation to my bag. So then I looked at the dresser bought me smiling. So I said, "Ok well sorry about that. How about we unpack my bag so my clothes wrinkle?" He nodded not knowing the trap he was about to run into. "You hand me the clothes out of my bag I'll put them away" He smiled and I hurried over to the dresser and then he walked gracefully over to me duffel bag. I opened a drawer to the dresser.

He quickly unzipped the duffel bag then his smile turned into thousands of emotions, some unreadable, but there was wonder in his eyes. He stood there for a minute mystified by the contents of my bag. "Is there a problem?" I asked sweetly. He looked at me. "Could you please hand me the stuff out of my bag?" I asked. He nodded and, so quickly I wasn't sure what happened, shoved my new underwear and bras into the bottom of the bag and handed me a couple pairs of jeans. His face was concentrated as if he was deciding what to do. I had to smother the laugh that was creeping up on me it went on like this until the bag was almost empty except for my daily spoils.

He concentrated on my face then in one fast movement I was in the air and was sitting on the bed with Edward sitting across from me duffel bag in hand. "What are these?" He asked his voice strained.

I looked into the bag and said, "Edward, I think you know what those are. They are my underwear and bras. Why?" He looked at me so I kept my face blank. His hand was shaking as if he was getting the guts to do something. He took the blue thong out of the bag and said "You call this underwear? There is none here! You shouldn't wear these."

I looked at him trying to block the laughter that I knew was going to explode. I cocked my head to the side and asked in the most innocent voice I could manage "Why? Don't you like them?" He looked down at the garment in his hand and said "Yes I do but . . ." He sat there for a while looking for the right words. "Aren't they a bit revealing?"

"So, you do like it? OK. Want to see it?" I asked letting a sly smile cross my face. He looked at me questionably then said "I do see it." I shook my head "I meant on me." Then before he could do or say anything I grabbed the thong and the matching bra and headed for the bathroom.

I got in there as fast as I could. Time for the finale I thought as there was a pounding on the door. "Isabelle Marie Swan, don't you think of it!" Edward said in a strained voice. I quickly unchanged and put on the thong and underwear and shoved my clothes in a cupboard. "I'm coming in to stop you in 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . Bella I'm coming in! . . .1" Then with a crash he walked into the bathroom his face unreadable. He was looking at the ground. Then he looked up slowly. "Jesus Christ! Bella, what is your problem?! Are you trying to make me lose control? Cause guess what" he stepped toward me a look of passion crossed his face. Yes! Jasper has perfect timing. Edward pushed me into the wall. He was kissing me so well. His hand was on my stomach.

Then, right on time Emmett walked into the room. It was embarrassing but yet worth it. "Nice, Edward! Bella, looking good!" Edward snarled then hugged me up, trying to cover me, and ran to the bedroom and faster than possible ripped the sheet off the bed and tied it around me. At this point I was so close to laughing it was dangerous. Edward tackled Emmett and said in a voice I've never heard, "YOU THINK THOSE THOUGHTS AGAIN YOU ARE GOING TO BE A VAMPIRE FILLET!!"

I, now, was laughing so hard it hurt. Edward looked at me disgustedly. Then said angrily "What are you laughing about?! Do you have any idea what he was thinking?" There look on his face was priceless. Tears were now rolling down my face. Then Edward stopped and you could tell he was reading Emmett's mind. I waited a couple of seconds then said "Gotcha!" He scowled at me.

Then Alice, Jasper and Rosalie came busting in the room laughing hysterically. "Didn't think you had it in ya, Bella," Alice said eyeing the sheet tied around my body. I said "And you say you 'foresee' the future" I joked.

I looked up and saw Edward fuming. I walked over to him I went say something but he put his hand over my mouth. "Everyone get out now." His voice still a little shaky from the passion Jasper sent toward him. I looked at Alice there was a blank look on her face I could tell she was having a vision. Then all of a sudden she looked at me smiled and gave me a thumbs up. Edward growled at her. She walked gracefully out the room following everyone else.

I looked at Edward. His face was smoothed over. Too smooth. He shook his head. He picked me up and put me down onto the bed and sat across from me. "OK, now that we're even, can we talk?" he asked smoothly. I nodded and said "What do you want to talk about?" He said with a grin "If you ever are going to wear that you can't to do it to get even with me it has to be for us . . ." He trailed off suggestively. I blushed. He had humor in his eyes now.

"But I was wondering are those underwear things comfortable?" I laughed. "I could get used to it but I'd rather stick to my bikini underwear" I admitted. Then Edward did something that surprised me he untied the sheet, his hands shaking, and then he said "you need to change cause one; that can't be comfortable and two; it's not helping my self control." So feeling weirdly self conscious and beautiful, I went to his drawer instead of mine and pulled open a drawer and pulled out a pair of his boxers and slid them on and grabbed a white shirt then walked over to the bed like any other night and snuggled into his chest. "I love you," Edward whispered. I whispered back, "I love for forever and more." Then he began humming my lullaby and I drifted back into a beautiful dream.


	2. Edward's Dare

**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own these totally sexy characters!_

**Author's Note:**_ I'm sorry it took so long._

When I woke up that morning I felt very rested. Then I remembered what had happened. My bras, thongs, and Edward kissing me so passionately. I started to blush. I opened my eyes to see Edward with a thong I bought on his head. I didn't know whether to be furious or to laugh. But when Edward said, "Good morning, Bella, do you like my new hat?" it sent me over the edge. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. I could barely breathe. Then as tears were streaming down my face I felt something cold and wet cross my lips. I looked at Edward. He had just brushed his tongue across my lips. I started to blush and he smiled my favorite smile. He ran his hands through my hair and kissed me till no end. Then he asked me abruptly as I was gasping for air, "Will you do something for me?"

I replied breathless, "Anything."

He grinned. "Play truth or dare with me and my family."

I blinked. This wasn't what I was hoping for. I was thinking along the lines of kissing me all day or something. "Shoot, you tricked me." He grinned. He knew kissing me like that could get me to agree to _at most _anything. So I said, "Fine," and supposively my human pace wasn't fast enough considering how he gently threw me on his back.

When we got downstairs I saw everyone, including Carlisle and Esme, sitting down, smiling. Emmett grinned and said, "Bella, I like your clothes." I looked down at myself and saw I was still wearing Edward's boxers and shirt because Edward had rushed me downstairs at vampire speed. Blushing, I shrugged and sat down.

Edward sat down next to me and took my hand, tracing patterns on my hand. But when I looked at him, he was glaring at Emmett. All of a sudden he said, "Oh crap," and then I realized my thong wad still around Edward's neck as he flung it like a rubber band into the next room.

"Emmett, will you knock it off? Nothing happened." I looked at him questionably and then Emmett said, "I was just wondering what happened last night and how our li'l Eddie did." Realizing what he meant I started laughing, forgetting about how embarrassed I was.

Apparently Edward didn't find this funny considering how he sprung up and tackled Emmett, knocking him into Esme's coffee table; shattering the wood like it was glass. Esme didn't even shout. She used a very even, stern voice, "Boys, knock it off. No fighting."

Edward, looking furious, came back and sat down next to me and Emmett sat down next to Rosalie, grinning. Before Emmett could say anything else I said very quickly, "Well, let's start playing!"

All of a sudden Alice laughed and then I realized she had probably just gotten a vision. I looked at Edward, the only person who would catch it, but he was too busy staring, or should I say glaring, at Emmett to catch the vision. Alice said, "I think Emmett should ask first." Alice grinned at Emmett.

"Truth or dare?" Emmett asked Edward.

"Dare," Edward shot back.

Emmett was shaking with laughter. He composed himself and said, "Let's see how long it takes Edward to snap." Emmett looked meaningfully towards Jasper and then glanced in my direction. Jasper shook his head smiling. I looked at Edward very confused. His teeth were gritted together. He refused to look at me.

I looked around the room. Rosalie and Emmett were laughing silently, Alice was grinning but she had a blank look in her eyes meaning she was getting a vision. Jasper looked very concentrated on Edward. Carlisle and Esme actually looked nervous. I sat there dumbfounded.

Five minutes had passed and I still didn't know what was going on. Then Edward took my hand and started groaning. I stared at him in shock. Then I realized what was going on. Jasper was sending waves of lust at Edward. I blushed knowing this was going to get embarrassing. Everyone was laughing silently except Jasper, who was concentrating so hard he could only smile.

Then Edward put his hand on my knee. I sat stone still. Alice, at vampire speed, leaned over at me and whispered, "Come on, make it hard on him. Play along."

I understood, so I looked at Edward and through gritted teeth he said, 'Don't you dare, Bella." I smiled innocently and said as I sat on his lap, "I don't know what you're talking about."

I looked at him but I wouldn't meet his eyes. I figured they'd be furious so when I was about to play with his bronze hair I was startled to feel Edward's cold fingers on my chin, lifting my head slowly but forcefully making me look into his eyes. When I looked I didn't see restraint anymore; I saw pure desire, passion, lust and love in his eyes. I blushed. Then his hands were on my back right where my bra connects. His lips met mine instantly. They were hungry, excited, and amazing. I kissed him back with all my might, forgetting about everything, and everyone.

Apparently so did Edward because about five minutes of making out Edward started unclasping my bra. I formed into stone. Remembering everyone was there because Esme gasped. Why couldn't Edward do this when we were alone? Is there no God? I tried to pull away; too embarrassed, but he had a solid grasp on my back.

Next think I heard was a _WHAP!_ and an, "Ouch, Esme!" from Jasper. Then Esme said, "Will you knock it off before Edward strips her down to nothing." Jasper replied sullenly, "Fine."

Just as Edward started undoing my bra again he stopped and stared at me. "Jesus Christ," he gasped and pushed me off his lap. He held up on finger, the universal sign for, 'hold on'. Then Emmett shouted, "Whoa! Everyone look; Edward's got a party in his pants!"

I immediately looked at my feet, refusing to look in Edward's direction. I refused to trust myself not to look at his pants. Then I heard another _WHAP!_ Then an "Ouch, Rosalie!" came from Emmett and then she replied, "Don't be such a retard. What did you expect after what Jasper just did to him?"

Emmett sighed then said sadly, "True, that boy has issues! I wouldn't have been able to handle two minutes of that."

This time Alice replied, "That's because you're a horn dog." I found this hilarious and I started laughing. So did everyone else. Then Edward broke the laughter by saying, "My turn! Emmett, truth or dare?!"


	3. Emmetts Dare: Part 1: Snug Fit

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately, I don't own any of these totally hilarious characters! (*pout*)

**Author's Note:** Sorry it took so long, getting the story and then typing it was hard enough, but I was BUSY! Please review!

Emmett smirked and said, "Dare!"

Edward smiled and said, "I dare you to go on a treasure hunt." Edward looked at Alice. She handed him a pen and a pad of paper. Alice must have known this was coming. Edward and I both created the list.

Emmett's Treasure Hunt List

Go to the nearest drug store and buy snug fit condoms and say to the cashier, "Is this the smallest you have?"

Go to Old Navy and try on some mini skirts and ask the sales woman to see how it looks.

Go to Victoria's Secret and have the lady measure you for your bra size then buy two bras; a read and a black, both lacy

Go to Starbucks and ask the guy person at the register for his number after you say, "Do you have a mirror in you pants?" Then wait for his response and say, "Cause I can see myself in your pants."

We handed the list over to Emmett. He frowned as he read it over. Then Edward cleared his throat and said, "Rosalie will be using our new video camera for this too. Right, Rose?"

Rosalie grinned at me and Edward and said, "Hell yeah!"

It took about half an hour for Emmett to complete the list. Mean while I refused to look at Esme. This was too embarrassing, but when Emmett walked in with a Rite Aid bag, a Victoria's Secrets bag, an Old Navy bag, and a napkin. I forgot about that as soon as Rosalie walked in holding a video tape, smiling. "Put it in!" I urged. She laughed and put it in the VCR.

We all huddled around the T.V.. All of a sudden we saw Emmett in Rosalie's BMW. He had a serious expression on his face. "Tonight," he started. "I have been given an assignment. It's dangerous but I'm man enough to take it."

He held up the list so we could read it. "So first I'll go to RiteAid." Then the tape went black for a couple of seconds.

All of a sudden we saw Emmett walking in a RiteAid singing _My Humps_. He walked in shaking his hips. Then he swayed over to the condom isle and tapped his chin. "Hmmm . . ." and then he chose a pack that said, _Snug fit_ in bright green letters. While humming _My Humps_ he swayed back over to the guy behind the register.

"Hey you look lovely tonight," Emmett said with a little grin.

The guy blinked and said, "Um, thanks, man?"

Emmett just smiled. "I was wondering," he held up the box. "Do you have a smaller size?"

_Oh my God, the cashier is in Edward and my Biology class!_ I nudged Edward and he nodded.

The guy looked stunned, "Ummm . . . I don't think so . . ."

Emmett then looked straight into the camera and winked. "Oh, that's not good," he said as he turned back to the guy. "Edward's got some plans with Bella tonight and he's embarrassed about his . . . _condition._" Emmett made quotation marks with his hands around _condition_. "So he wanted me to pick them up for him."

The guy was still completely amazed. "Wow, I didn't know Bella . . . well, have a good night."

Emmett held up a hand. "Wait; see Eddie might be able to fill these out on a good night, so I'd still like to buy then. If he's not man enough then I guess Bella and him can make condom balloons."

The guy got a look that clearly said, _'EW!'_ and said, "Oh, okay." He rung them up as fast as possible and handed the bag to Emmett.

"Thank you!" Emmett called over his shoulder.

For a second we all sat there in silence with our eyes wide. Suddenly Edward sprang up and hit pause. Everything snapped back and I started to laugh while rolling around on the floor. I knew I should be furious with Emmett for making fun of Edward like that, but it was just too funny. Edward stared between Emmett and me furiously. I managed to choke out, "I didn't know you had a condition," and then burst out laughing again.

Everyone started to laugh except Edward. He just continued to stare at me. "You don't care that people think that we're se . . ." he cut himself off.

"That people think that we're what?" I asked calming down a little.

"THAT PEOPLE THINK WE'RE SEXUALLY ACTIVE!" Edward yelled and his voice came out kind of strangled.

I had to laugh. "But we're not so it doesn't matter. You really are too old fashioned. _Sexually active_, who says that anymore? You could just say, _having sex._" His jaw dropped putting me into another fit of giggles.

"Okay," I said, "just sit down and let's finish the Emmett show."

He looked at where he had been sitting warily but finally took a seat, but instead of looking at the T.V. he still stared at me. "What?" I asked self consciously.

"You don't care if people think we're having sex?"

I sighed knowing he wasn't going to let this go. "Edward if people want to call me names other than klutz or clumsy, such as whore and slut, then whatever. I'll just ignore it. Plus, nobody will blame me because every girl in the school, even female teenagers and gay guys, want to have sex with you. But all in all we're not having sex so what does it matter?"

He shook his head, and then grinned, "Every female in school? Does that include the most modest, blushing brunette sitting next to me?"

I looked at Esme; this was awkward. "Ummm . . ."

"I'll take that as a yes, then," Edward said with a smile in his voice.

_Ugh_, I hate it when he makes me embarrass myself, especially in front of Esme. So I did what I thought was the closest thing to getting back at him. "Edward, it's really too bad you can't fill out snug fit condoms. What a disappointment. Is there any other _conditions_ you want to tell me about?" I tried my best to keep a straight face and succeeded.

Then Edward cracked a smile, "Maybe one or two, but I'll show you later." He winked and I blushed. _Damn, he always wins!_

I turned to look at everyone, who were already beginning to laugh. When we all calmed down Rosalie hit play.


End file.
